The Obserity of It All

1:23 PM intenseron: story time

1:24 PM me: ok

so get back from lunch and i feel a dump coming on

intenseron: ok

me: So i go to the bath room, which is overly crowded i haven't been able to take a uninterrupted dump yet

1:25 PM intenseron: k

1:26 PM me: there is on person in the bath room. in the middle stall(asshole) so i go to the next stall down. Upon entering the stall I notice a flushing noise and paper tearing noises and what can only be described as wiping the toilet down

intenseron: ohhhhhhkay

me: as i lay my protective layer down and sit i notice the guy next to me was sitting for all that noise ????

then i hear horrible farting shit noises not unlike when you have a beer shit,

1:27 PM Then i hear a flush

Then more wiping of something with TP

intenseron: lol

me: then i hear peeing(or liquid poop) uninterrupted for like i shit you not over a minute

then another flush

flush

more paper

1:28 PM more paper

shitting noises

intenseron: poop lasagna

me: and i look down and he is standing up!!?

and he leaves the stall

intenseron: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

you were sitting right next to him?

me: It just doesn't make any sense

yeah

no one else was there

intenseron: no one else in the bathroom

wow

1:29 PM did you have some sort of out of body experience and it was you who was shitting?

me: nope i was playing solitare on my cell phone... very confused listening and OMG the smell.

intenseron: did you laugh?

me: like i can deal with the smell of shit

intenseron: I would have screamed

1:30 PM then passed out laughing

me: but jesus i have a runny nose and i pulled back a deep breath and almost lost my lunch on the floor

intenseron: oh Christ

1:33 PM me: not a very satisfying shit

1:34 PM to say the least

intenseron: did you know the guy?

me: nope i didn't want to find out either

i hid in my stall until he left

intenseron: you sure he was standing while shit noises were happening

1:35 PM me: unless he stood up real fast like a ninja cuz i didn't hear anything either

1:36 PM intenseron: that's fucking strange

1:37 PM me: the Immaculate Dump

1:39 PM intenseron: I took a dump a few days ago - easily 24-32 inches

I lost 3lbs

1:40 PM me: i took a dump the other day almost took a picture of it. The way everything dropped the was a turd sticking straight up clears the top of the water by at least 3 inches

intenseron: wow

that's disgusting